October 29, 1996
Medlab! Get to Medlab!
I have recovered from the dose of Assholio I took on Thursday. I have been so utterly exhausted that I haven't been writing or even thinking about my life for days on end. Trying to cram four years of corporate change and new processes can't be done. Plus, trying to build a 6,000 activity schedule...just for starters mind you....is getting my brain royally baked. Even with that, it's good to be back. I had lunch with my old manager today and asked him if I had pissed off anyone I might have to work with. He thought not. I said I felt like ducking behind columns whenever I saw someone I know from the XXX program. Paranoia. You gotta love it!
I had Minestrone soup last night for dinner. Two cans! Tonight, what do you think I'm going to have? Minestrone soup. And tomorrow? Minestrone soup. I think after that, and more importantly, after I get paid, I will get something else. Hmmmm...maybe some Lentil? AAAaacccchhhhhh!
I bean thinking about relationships and my lack of them. Some people are, seemingly, meant to be alone. I keep wondering if that is me. I don't like being alone but then I don't get out to meet people or get social so I guess it's not the driving force in my life. With some people, you can almost feel the pheromones working to attract mate material. I guess I'm a drone. I'm certainly a droner.
I got assigned a lost cause today that just happens to dovetail very neatly with something and somewhere I wanted to go in the company. I thought it was fun. Most fun. I love being given projects and battles you can't win. I REALLY love it when I need what would come out of the winning of that outcome but then hey....that would make it too easy wouldn't it. S @ # %!!!!!
I'm really doing better at keeping from getting too wrapped up in work. I'm keeping my OT down to only two hours a day and less than 8 on Saturdays. I'm getting plenty of sleep (most important!) and I'm not eating a lot. Which brings me to the question: Most people think I am skinny. I think i'm not. At 6'3", 160lbs, I think I could weigh 10lbs. Maybe the Blogg diet..... Once an anorexic, always an anorexic. I try to eat at least one decent meal a day and then a can of soup. That way I don't have to watch what I eat. Sometimes I think about this too much. But I'd rather think about it than buy 20 new suits and 50 new shirts.
This is nice...CNN reports that "...a Kurdish guerrilla killed herself and four other people Tuesday when a bomb she wore strapped to her body exploded in front of a police station in central Turkey..." Shit! I think this person was pissed off about something. What do you think?!?!?! :-) I have to have a little humor here cause I know how hard these people are fighting and I honor that but blwoing yourself up to get at your enemey is a motherfu*(ing hardcore way to go. I might have done the old M203 Flash or Claymore in a bus routine, but not blowing myself up. It goes back to my basically being a boor and a bore. Selfish, self-centered and self-invovled. Less complicated that way. It seems to be working too cause my hits are way down....And of course, they web site has pictures of blood all over the sidewalk. Fuckin vulture newspeople. Yuch.
The apartment police are coming tomorrow to check my smoke detector. Have to hide the naked animals. I really did sweep the piles of stuff into neater piles of stuff and try to make the floor less of a minefield for the smoke detector people cause I CARE what they think. Been reading some past journals of mine. Whew! Glad the Pulizter people or the National Institute for Mental Health aren't reading my diary...you're not are you????...cause it is some bizarre stupid brain damaged stuff. A lot of projecting of my own tendancies upon the net as a whole. Maybe that is what I was reacting to last week. Someone elses writings. Maybe THEY were projecting too!! Damn! Who says you need 10 years of med school! I'm hanging my shingle out right now damn it!
Hang on, gotta go heat some soup....okay:
A few coordinating instructions:
1) I must really be healthy...I'm washing my shower curtain on a Tuesday night. Must have been the dead rotting animal smell that hit me when I got home.
2) I have been noticing all these "BUSY" graphics on pages lately. They are so COOL! I have GOT to get me one of them!!!!
3) AOL is now offering "bring your own access" for $9.95! Such a deal! I want an aol.com appended after the rest of my email address!
The REALLY cool news is that I checked my hits and I'm down to about 10 a day...and most of them are for my Father's genealogy data! Do you know what that means?!?!? It means that I am once again writing anonymously and NO ONE is reading this!!! HOORAY! I no longer have to worry if i am writing "hiply" enough to keep people coming back or impressing people with my rapier like wit!! I have succeeded in driving off enough the casual browsers and most jaded surfmeisters! I have acheived my goal of being a boor and a bore! I can die happy now....
Tracy Chapman is singing "Make a new beginning...we can make a change...". I think I'll just rehash ancient history! MMMMMMmmmmmm..Minestrone soup for the fifth time this week! I love it! At least I'm eating! Or drinking?!?! Or what the hell do you do with soup? Sloup it?
What do you touch during cyber-sex? Digitalia?
Whew! Tis truly strange. I have washed both the shower curtain and bath mat and the bathroom STILL smells like dead capybaras! OH well. I guess I got to clean the bathtub. You'd think once a year would be enough eh?
I've got three different browsers open to three different sites. Impending schizophrenia? Nah. Been there, done that. Nop. It's just to keep my connection open while I write this. Got an email tonight realtime after I sent it. That is good. Almost like talking. Almost.
I have now satiated my desire for self-exposure.
The Boss in "She's The One" is starting up. Gotta go.
Be cool eh? and be excellent to one another. Love is the only emotion worth having my friends.
Love.
Copyright ©1996. Andrew T. Green. All Rights Reserved.
"...in 20 minutes this area is going to be an expanding vapor explosion the size of Nebraska."
