November 9, 1997





What's New


Almost. 'Bout blew Zoots mind when at 2.04A, the lights went out. He thought there had been a power outage. 'Cause he told me the lights never go out around here while it's dark. Well, I tried, but about 50 minutes later, I'm back up. It's now 3.08A on Sunday. I love this shit.

I have to be very careful right now. One screwup now, and the whole thing comes crashing down around me. And I really don't need that bullshit. Ya know?

Just remember...this is my diary, journal, fucking off place, whatever. You don't like what you read here, or it makes you uncomfortable, or scared, or nauseated...then LEAVE!!!This is my space. I do what I want here. This is my only outlet, sad and pathetic as it is. Don't come here with all your baggage and expect me to deal with it. Do NOT read anything into what I say here. I got something to say, I'll say it. If not, I'll ramble however the hell I please.

The above is NOT directed at anyone in particular. Just a rant. It's just that I've got so little left of me.



What's On My Mind


An oldie but goodie...

Question: Will you take me home tonight God?

Answer: 'Ya know...My son Jesus asked me something similar while he was on earth. I refused my own Son. What makes you think I'm going to grant your request?

Question: 'Cause I ain't here to save the world.

Answer: What makes you think you know what I'm up to?


Okay, so I've been better. The key thing to remember here is that I've also been a lot worse. To with:

  • I don't have a gun.
  • My shit is not in boxes with tags for the various places it needs to go.
  • I don't have my notes all printed out and put in envelopes.
  • I don't have a long list of things printed up for the police to do upon arrival.

So, looking at it that way, I'm doing pretty good. 'Course, I ain't sleeping worth a damn, however. I don't want the job I've got. I'm bored. I'm lonely. I coulda' been with someone, maybe, if I wasn't such a nutcase. Or is that right "" ??

Anyway, so it goes. Odd thing. I had to get rid of some icons I had cause they is the property of Be Inc. and I didn't want to get sued...if ya know what I mean :-). Anyway, I tried using SiteMill to cut the text, and it only worked on three files out of 100. What's up with that? I ended up doing it all by hand before I realized that BBEdit would do global actions like that. Tried it, didn't work. Another what's up with that goes through my head. So, I copy some text while in BBEdit (which I hadn't done before) and it works. Seems I ain't seeing everything when in VisualPage or anything else. (Is this a surprise to anyone but me???) So, I got rid of some funky characters on my pages (from my PageMill days), that had been bothering me for over a year, and took out another icon in a global cut, and fixed some other files, and uploaded the whole thing. Was a very busy night.

The absolutely neat thing about the above para is that BBEdit 4.0 Lite is FREE!!! As an HTML program, it sucks (which is humourous I feel that way given that their motto is "Software that doesn't suck!). Not much more than SimpleText on steroids. You gotta code by hand. BBEdit 4.5 has all sorts of buttons to place code for you, but it's as kludgy as PageSpinner. Not to mention it costs money. I've bought all the HTML editors I'm going to buy thank you. But, as a basic text editor (which is what it's also for) it does very well. Even in the stripped down free version. You can use it as a front end to Frontier and NetObjects Fusion. DreamWeaver support is coming. I think the only thing that BBEdit has over VP is that it has a spell checker and global Search/Replace for multiple files over an entire disk. I'll take VP and SiteMill any day thank you. But it's nice to have it around when you need it for the one thing neither VP or SM will do. Thanks BareBones SW!!!!!!

Had a talk with "" last night. From my point of view, it was an okay conversation. I'm pretty sure "" didn't enjoy it. Sorry "", but you were the one who called me... I know I'm a selfish asshole, but it's all I can do right now. Please forgive me...okay? It won't be that bad.

I have so little left to say. In fact, I think I've very nearly said it all. One or two more things. At least one.

Remember in Logan's Run where Logan has gone back to the city, been captured and he's strapped in the chair and the computer is grilling him? Remember the cheesy holographic display as he says –

"There is no sanctuary"."There is no sanctuary"."There is no sanctuary".

Remember that? Good.





, and loose talk, will fuck 'ya every time...

— Some Stoned Wheat Thins —






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