November 7, 1997 "Well the ambulance arrived to late..." What's New Bullshit and lies. Well, not exactly new...but every day brings a new chance for new ones don't it??? :-) Elton John's Indian Sunset. It is all so clear. Zoot is turning into quite the young male cat. He's gained a bunch of weight and has turned into Billy Badass. He attacks my legs and is beginning to try to throw his weight around. Which is becoming sizeable. He's going to be a big dude. Which is nice. Nice to see something that innocent get a good chance at a good life. He's just a creature that didn't get a vote on what happened to it. Glad I could help him out. Lately though, with my schedule, I've had him so discombobulated that he doesn't know which end is up. With my being manic and not sleeping much at times or sleeping all the time, he doesn't know when to sleep or be awake. He just looks at me with this glazed look and wonders what the fuck is going on. I look at him and tell him that If I knew, I'd tell him. I'd sure like to know myself. Just put Def Leppard Hysteria on loop. Makes the time pass. Keeps the beasts out. What's On My Mind Meds, shrinks and therapy. It's all so much bullshit!!! It makes me want to vomit. Fucking witch doctors and voodoo. I do what they tell me and it makes no difference. Nothing makes any difference. It's all shit. I've got my life coming down around my pretty big sized ears. I can't seem to get in to work much anymore. I did get in today for what that was worth. I think I made a contribution today. Who knows? Who cares? I sure don't. Times short. Course there is no such thing as time. Which makes it so much better. We measure nothing and exist in everything at once as everything. We simply are at one and the same time as all. I'd like to give this journal thing up, but I can't seem to. It's my outlet for what rumbles around in my head. Well, maybe rumbles isn't the best word. Slowly creeps around and slides silently. Sibilantly. I can hear the sound of silence. All embracing and comforting. I've waited all my life for this. 'Tis Time...finally time. Be Joyous! has no added calories due to sugar. A George Killian's Irish Brown and a Marlboro Light – "I guess she didn't want to wait." Copyright ©1996, 1997 A.T.Green. All Rights Reserved.