October 24, 1996
"Vaya con dios man!"
WARNING! STRONGLY WORDED, CUSS-WORD FILLED RANT Below....Maybe even spelling and punctuation erros :-)....LEAVE NOW!!!!!
BY THE WAY... I mailed Sage Weil a check for $50 dollars. I believe in the WEb Ring. Who else want's to put their money where their mouths/HTML is/are?? Ante up Billy.....
I'm gonna get thrown out of OpenPages I don't get my butt in gear and start writin more. It's jest I been so dang busy don't ya know... See we got this big projeck at werk, and it's eatin a lot of my time. But, that's an excuse....I jest ain't been writin....
I must have been really crazy four years ago. I mean really wigged out. Fuckin looney toons. I look at how work looks to me versus how it looked four or more years ago, and I must have been one sick, paranoid son of a bitch. It's funny. People treat me like I just got out of Western State. They kind of smile at me gently and speak in little words slowly. I love it. I was burned out and getting a divorce. That would make anyone crazy. I think I'd had two vacations in ten years. I think that helped drive me batshit too. Anyway, I'm working again at a "regular" job and seeing that you can work and have a life too. Never knew how to do that before. And, to stay fairly happy and pleasant at the same time. What a concept...
The Cascades were clouded over all day until about 3:00P when you could start seeing the foothills, and man it almost brought tears to my eyes. I chose to move back here for just that view, smell, attitude, call it whatever. The trees, mountains, rain, clouds....perfect. At least for me. I have to get into them this weekend. Maybe Chinook or Stevens Pass for a day trip nand a bed and breakfast in Yakima or Ellensburg. Then down through the Columbia Gorge and up I-5 and home, home, home. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. Nothing. Told ya...Beetlebreakfast?
I am really cherishing the friendships I have, since I don't get to see those people anymore. It's a treat to get mail from them, and stay somewhat connected. Even if it's just to say they are too busy to write a long letter. Just staying connected. It is important.
Maggy has a new look for her site now. If you haven't been there yet. Go. Maggy is the REAL thing. THE webmistress. An honest to goodness real decent human being. The lady is a class act. Without asking or politicing for it. Which brings me to something I want to rant about:
<RANT>
It would seem that everyone on the web is sick of cliques, vanity sites, "lights", or "luminaries" or whatever. Everywhere I go, and I mean everywhere, it seems people have had enough of the elitism, or wanting to be part of the in crowd, or sick of themselves wanting to be mentioned by the "clique" ...whoeverthehell the "clique" is. Is it those jaded, ultra-cynical people at SUCK or WIRED or GLASSDOG or EATMYSHORTS (just kidding).
Who cares?
These people are doing their thing. I do mine. I went to one of these sites and got asked what I thought about this question of incestous mentioning among the "hip" crowd. I unloaded. I had no idea I had that level of emotion about the whole thing.
I did admit that Yes, I do want people to visit my site, but I don't go telling people about it, or promoting it, or asking to be a Cool Site, and to be honest, the Genealogy data on it gets 3X more hits than this lame diary or my poetry pages. And to be honest, the desire to be recognized appeals to my dark side and that pisses me off and make me sick of myself. Fine. I can live with that. It's my site and I do what I want here. It's bizarre, sick, twisted, demented, lame, but it's mine. The same goes with your site. (Not that it's sick or twisted or demented or lame or anything.....)
Which makes me retch to hear about how the "lights" are lamenting the fact that the masses are too stupid to appreciate them, or their wickedly cynical humor and dark sarcasm. Fuck 'em... Even the ones who admit that they spend an inordinate amount of time doing their thing on the web seem to have this idea that they should be recognized for their "contribution", and that the rest of us who either have no page or some lame thing like this, are just fucking low life consumers of their intellectual largesse. To those of you who have asked the question whether or not what you do on the web is art: I believe that what you do IS art. 100%. Completely. You are to HTML what Typographers are to print. But like any artist, don't expect recognition for what you do. Like most artists, you'll be dead before you're appreciated.
It really makes me mad even though I'm laughing at myself right now for getting bent about it. Of course, the three cheapcoldbeers I have consumed since coming home aren't hurting either. So quit now:write this off as the drunken ramblings of a moron: and LEAVE NOW!
(BTW, considering the 1-2 hits a week I get, on second thought stay. I really am writing this for myself for some reason to get it out of my system...although someone could say I'm just hurt cause I haven't been mentioned...Right!!!! Like I'm going to be mentioned. "Well, you can still be jealous Drew" "Yes, well, I could also be President but I'm into this so go away")
It's just tiring. Life is hard enough without finding the same crap on the web.
I believe in the web. I believe in it despite the commercialism, bandwitdth problems, smut, child-pornographers (burn in hell you scumbags), I think it is acutally our feeble attempt to model our own brains that we are building here. Or maybe we are trying to model our society (Oh No!) here. Hell, I don't know. And I wouldn't give a damn for you if you believed me or accepted my thoughts for your own.
Think for yourself!
What is the web to you? Does it mean you have to build a homepage? A Site? A monument to your ego? Are you a surfer? A cruiser? A nerd? A geek?
What?
SEE??? Labels!!!!!!!
Who CARES what you are!! Just be!!!
Enjoy the web and revel in it. Revel in the communication or lack of it. Revel in the immediacy or lack of it. Revel in the intimacy or lack of it. Just revel in it. Participate. Log on and join in. Doesn't matter if you ever send an email, write one line of HTML, or have a frames capable browser. Just BEING HERE changes you forever. You have participated in something global and generation smashing. Rock on with your bad surfin self.
I take an example from work. When I left XYZ in 1992, there was no web. It was still a pet experiment at CERN. Now, it's the next best thing since sliced bread. If we had had web servers on the last project I was on, we could have improved communication by at least 25% and reduced frustration and aggravation by at least that much. Now, I can log onto the company intranet and get ANYTHING I need on-line. Truly.
Now, lets turn the analogy. If someone out there who is hurting, or depressed, or suicidal can make one connection that helps them get through the day or night or crisis, hasn't the web proved it's worth? Isn't the whole thing about touching others as best we can in this digital world we've created? We have so much keeping us fom one another, isn't the whole thing about communication, understanding, breaking down barriers, empowerment?
Sounds like an IBM commercial doesn't it? Well, in a non-cynical context they are right. Only their profit motive keeps us from getting with their ad campaign.
I can't count the times I have been touched, hurt, laughed, cried(yes I have), belched, thought, scratched my ass, scratched my head, agreed, disagreed, retched violently at someting online I read.
THAT IS GOOD!
I have sent email to people I don't know.
THAT IS GOOD!
I have taken Web surveys. That is good too. I think....
Communities have all sorts of people in them at all sorts of levels of involvement. Fundamentally, those who do the most for the community do so because they get a kick out of doing it, not for any recognition they might receive.
Let's leave it at that shall we?
</RANT>
Man I 'm going to go lay down now...my head hurts...I can punch about a hundred holes through the arugment above. I'm sure you can too. And find enless contradictions. But then, that's what being human is all about isn't it? Being full of contradictions, bullshit, arguments, illogical statements, emotion. Gotta love it....
Love is all there is...If you have no love in you....I don't know. I don't know what you are....but you ain't human.
Me.
Flames? Anything?
Copyright ©1996. Andrew T. Green. All Rights Reserved.
"Well maybe we could just build a big campfire and sign songs. How 'bout that?
"We better get inside now. They mostly come at night. Mostly."
