November 10, 1996
"I like it....Can't help it I liiiiike it"
I yakked with the Bro today. He says he was going to call. I said you li 'cause you never call. He says he would have. Anyway, we're yakkin away about jobs and he say's he finally got Navigator on his new 'puter. He just took over as a Director (I'm sooo proud of him!) and he hadn't had it installed yet. I said have you been to my diary and he says I was afraid too 'cause the bad words in it might set off the corporate hounds. He said it would be something like the Andromeda Strain...where his monitor zaps him with a green laser every time a bad word is encountered.
Staggering down the hallway with those laser-zit bumps on his face with the hall gyrating widly while people back off in horror----
"He's got it!"
"Help me get to access control!...." as he slumps against the wall. "I'm not sick.....I just read my brothers online diary..." People scurrying away....
"Where's my key? I have to turn that browser off!"
Cut to hand reaching to desktop for mouse to click on STOP.
Then we're talking about houses built before the First World War without closets in them. And how they have one large room that can be converted to a room for closet space....
In the future, everyone will be named Steve and get their clothes from a central house closet. On the wall, tacked up, will be a picture of a grinning Bill Gates to which all will be required to make obesience.
Be afraid.....
I had a very sucky week this week. I was very depressed and worse, I WANTED to be depressed but really couldn't enter into the spirit of the thing. I'm feeling pretty well actually but the dark side of me wants to be depressed. Sort of like wanting to hit the snooze button one more time when you know you should be getting up. Getting well can sometimes suck bad.
We had rain all week. Friday we got a pretty good view of the Cascades from our view out the corner of our cube line. Today was absolutely brilliant and 60 degrees. Motivated around...tried to pick up my shirts. Only got three. The others had the collars pressed incorrectly. And this was after I really spent a lot of time explaining how the seams should be hidden so the tie doesn't show. Useless. So they will repress them and we'll see. I think I'll be looking for another cleaners. Dropped off some clothes at the Goodwill type place. Got a haircut! Sort of punkish modified Chili bowl but not really too radical. Hard to be a punk in a suite in a suit at a Fortune 25 company. People would talk....Anyway, it's shorter, not down around my ears...which Dumbo would proud to own by the way! Was in Airborne school (Parachuting) and the Instructor gets to me and says "you got the biggest ears of anyone I ever seen"! Then goes to my buddy next to me and said "You got the biggest head of anyone I ever seen. If you had ears as big as the guy next to you, you could fly!" The Army always hires the best yaknow. But Ross Perot has wider listeners than I do. Mine are like Yul Brynners. In fact, if my hair ever falls out, I want to be Yul Brynner. Deborah Kerr....*sigh* I love Deborah Kerr. I want to be Deborah Kerr's love slave. So my ears are out there but not big. And the hair is off my neck and I can look Corporate for another while. i think I got em fooled. When people look really hard at me, they ask me "Do you have a pierced ear?" I say "no. I got caught in an industrial rice picker as a child." Most of the time they walk away murmuring about how OSHA should have more teeth and child labor laws...
Work. Work. Work. Startup project. More Work. Anxiety. Compression scheduling. Chaos. Overtime. More Overtime. Even More Overtime. Overtime that would make Zeus himself shake his head in disbelief. A Beer. Melatonin. Work. Work. Work.
I love women. I love the scent of female hair. I love the line of a dress on a woman's hip. Walking down the cubes, coming unexpectedly upon a scent and trying to follow it to it's owner. The lilt, the grace, the fluid styling of a woman's conversation. The dissimilarity between us. The similarities. Chewed hair, legs and feet tucked up in only the way a woman can do it, the constant watch for errant calories and the casual disregard of them. The quiet strength, the exuberance, the fantastic insight, the enticing seductiveness. A most excellent life form. I salute you.
I haven't smoked in two weeks. Pretty cool. Coffee consumption is down and quality of sleep is up. I think I'm eating less. Eating less junk too. Got to do laundry today. I'm out of work socks. Got to get some new ones cause the ones I got date from at least four years ago and my shoes keep eating them.
Had dinner with dear old friends tonight at a Thai restaraunt we love. Very nice. Anyone else have an addiction to Thai food?
It's 0046 Sunday morning and I have to sleep now. At peace with myself and the world. I wish the world was at peace with itself.
Grieve for the children although Roddenbery was right "Non-Interference" is probably the best way. Tragedatious but true.
Fill your heart with love. I wish you love and to be loved.
Drew
Copyright ©1996. A.T. Green. All Rights Reserved.
"So I said to him you can't eat your secretary's dog!"
