December 5, 1996
"...as the bombshells of my daily fears explode I try to trace them to my youth..."
What a week! Non-stop chaos since Monday morning at work but I'm feeling great! Went to 75mg of Zoloft today and am suffereing no ill effects. I seem to be getting used to the stuff. Which, believe me, is a good thing...
I still find myself stopping and wondering when the roof is going to fall in on me. Then I remember that it won't! Sometimes I feel like I've lost something and almost start to wonder what it is. I'm also rambling here about this new world I live in but that is because it is such a new place for me and the feelings are new and the sensation of being pain free - depression free - is fantastic. Also, knowing that my depression is not the result (for the most part) of something from my past...but something, which up until now, has been beyond my ability to control. That's a huge relief. When you walk around feeling worthless and hating yourself, it gets to be a frame of mind that you believe.
So what did you do this week?
Not much else other than I'm thankful to friends other journalers (which are fast becoming synonymous) and anonymous emailers and for their support.
Sweet Dreams ya'll...
If you're not listening to the Indigo Girls and eating chocolate...you're not listening to the Indigo Girls and eating chocolate!
Drew
Copyright ©1996. A.T.G. All Rights Reserved.
"...I offer thanks to those before me..."
